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Actor Monologues

Male Screen Monologues

Fraiser from the TV series
Dr. Frasier Crane: I know how bleak these times can be, but believe me, they will come to an end sometime or later. I remember a time back in Boston, I was going through exactly what you're going through now. Just a week later I met a lovely barmaid, sophisticated if a bit loquacious. We fell madly in love and we got engaged... 'course, she left me standing at the altar. The point is, I didn't give up. I took my poor battered heart and handed it to Lilith. ...Then in her little Cuisinart, she hit the purée button. I rebounded, and look how far I've got! I'm divorced, lonely, living with my father.

Boy Meets World - from the TV series from Michael Jacobs Productions
(His guardian John is in a coma)
Shawn Hunter: John, how could you be in here? How could you screw up on your bike? I have never seen you screw up on anything. I'm the screw-up, remember? C'mon you remember...Don't do this to me, John. I don't do alone real good... I know you're in there but it's like you're not really here. You're not talking but I know you're here. So I'm just gonna talk, you can listen. (pause) John, even when I was at the Centre, it was all the things you taught me that made me wonder if it was the right place for me or not. But you didn't teach me enough. You, and Cory, and my parents, and the Matthews and the handful of people who really care about me, so don't blow me off, John! (looks up) Don't blow me off, God! I never asked you for anything before and I never wanted to come to you like this, but don't take Turner away from me; he's not yelling at me yet. God, you're not talking but I know you're here, so I'm gonna talk, and you can listen.[pause]God, I don't wanna be empty inside anymore.

Frasier - from the TV series
Dr. Frasier Crane: What? Do you want to know what's bothering me too? Well, here's a start, I'm talking to a dog, that bothers me. I'm another year older today, I suppose that bothers me, but not as much as people seem to think. I'm still single, that's a big one. Not having a woman to share my life with. The only women in my life are friends; Roz and Daphne. Daphne's not even here anymore, she'll be married soon. That's going to be tough on Dad. Who am I kidding? It's going to be tough on me. It's been nice having her here. Even when my love life hasn't been going so well, I can always come home to a warm and considerate woman. You know, that's probably why I've been so brusque with her lately. I know that once she's gone, I'll probably be twice as lonely. ...Well, it's quite a realization isn't it? (Eddie buries his head under a pillow) You know, there are subtler ways to let the patient know his hour is up.

Scrubs - from the TV series created by Bill Lawrence
J.D.: Shut up, shut up, shut up and shut up, okay? Who are you people to give me advice about anything? All you do is bitch about your relationships all day long. (to Dr. Cox) And you know what glare all you want Big Dog, okay, because I'm not afraid of you. "Oh no, Jordan's only paying attention to the baby." That must be so hard for Dr. Look-At-Me, isn't it? LOOK-AT-MEEEE. (to Carla and Turk) And you two, you're arguing ever since you got engaged, wow you're probably the first couple that's ever done that EVER. It can't be that you're just scared is it? (to Elliot) And you, you know what, let's just forget for one second that a month ago you told me you couldn't be in a relationship with anyone, because for me, it's actually fun to watch you sabotage a relationship from the outside, it really is. Honestly, the only thing that gives me comfort you guys is while I'm sitting at home staring at the ceiling just wishing that I had someone to talk to, is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are. (JD storms out)
 
Scrubs - from the TV show created by Bill Lawrence
Dr. Cox (John C. McGinley): Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies: Will they, won't they, and then they finally do and they're happy forever -- gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half the ones that get married get divorced, anyway. And I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, 'cause I do...believe in it. Bottom line...is the couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but, the big difference is, they don't let it take 'em down.

A Few Good Men  from the original play by Aaron Sorkin
Kaffe: Submit for Defense Exhibit "B". It's the tower cheif's Log book for Andrews Air Force Base for the Evening of July seventh. It seems that at 9:26 p.m., 21:26, an AF-40 transport landed at Andrews with ninety-four empty seats having taken off at two minutes past 6:00 p.m. It's departure point? ... Colonel? ... Naval Air Station, NAVBASE, Guatanamo Bay, Cuba. (Pause. Crosses to Jesep) You that Kendrick ordered the Code Red on Santiago. Because that's what you told Kendrick yo do. And Kendrick follows orders. Or people die, isn't that right, Colonel? You ordered the Code Red and, when it went bad, you cut these guys loose. You had Markinson sign a Phony Transfer order so it'd look like you tried to move Santiago, you forged the log book so it'd look like the oh-two-hundred was the first flight out and you told the doctor to say it was posion so it wouldn't look like a Code Red. You trashed the law. But we understand. You're permitted. You have a greater responsibility than we can possibly fathom. You provide us with a blanket of Freedom. We live in a world with walls and those walls have to be gaurded by men with guns and nothing's gonna stand in your way of doing it. Not Willy Santiago, not Dawson and Downey, not a thousand armies, not the Uniform Code Of Military Justice and not the Constitution of the United States. That's the truth, isn't it Colonel? I can handle it.

A Few Good Men - written by Aaron Sorkin 
Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee (Tom Cruise): I think I'm entitled to them.
Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I want the truth!
Jessep: You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.
We use words like honor, code, loyalty...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!
Kaffee: Did you order the code red?
Jessep: (quietly) I did the job you sent me to do.
Kaffee: Did you order the code red?
Jessep: You're goddamn right I did!!

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - written by Eric Roth
Benjamin Button: Sometimes we’re on a collision course, and we just don’t know it. Whether it’s by accident or by design, there’s not a thing we can do about it. A woman in Paris was on her way to go shopping, but she had forgotten her coat, went back to get it. When she had gotten her coat, the phone had rung, so she’d stopped to answer it, talked for a couple of minutes. While the woman was on the phone, Daisy was rehearsing for a performance at the Paris Opera House. And while she was rehearsing, the woman, off the phone now, had gone outside to get a taxi. Now, a taxi driver had dropped off a fare earlier and had stopped to get a cup of coffee. And all the while, Daisy was rehearsing. And this cab driver, who dropped off the earlier fare, who’d stopped to get the cup of coffee, had picked up the lady who was going to shopping, and had missed getting an earlier cab. The taxi had to stop for a man crossing the street, who had left for work five minutes later than he normally did, because he forgot to set off his alarm. While that man, late for work, was crossing the street, Daisy had finished rehearsing, and was taking a shower. And while Daisy was showering, the taxi was waiting outside a boutique for the woman to pick up a package, which hadn’t been wrapped yet, because the girl who was supposed to wrap it had broken up with her boyfriend the night before, and forgot. When the package was wrapped, the woman, who was back in the cab, was blocked by a delivery truck; all the while Daisy was getting dressed. The delivery truck pulled away and the taxi was able to move, while Daisy, the last to be dressed, waited for one of her friends, who had broken a shoelace. While the taxi was stopped, waiting for a traffic light, Daisy and her friend came out the back of the theater. And if only one thing had happened differently, if that shoelace hadn’t broken, or that delivery truck had moved moments earlier, or that package had been wrapped and ready, because the girl hadn’t broken up with her boyfriend, or that man had set his alarm and got up five minutes earlier, or that taxi driver hadn’t stopped for a cup of coffee, or that woman had remembered her coat, and got into an earlier cab, Daisy and her friend would’ve crossed the street, and the taxi would’ve driven by; but life being what it is - a series of intersecting lives and incidents, out of anyone’s control - that taxi did not go by, and that driver was momentarily distracted, and that taxi hit Daisy, and her leg was crushed.

We Were Soldiers - written by Randall Wallace
Lt. Col. Hal Moore: Look around you. In the 7th Cavalry, we got a captain from the Ukraine, another from Puerto Rico. We got Japanese, Chinese, blacks, Hispanics, Cherokee Indians, Jews and Gentiles--all American. Now here in the States, some men in this unit may experience discrimination because of race or creed, but for you and me now, all that is gone. We're moving into the valley of the shadow of death, where you will watch the back of the man next to you, as he will watch yours, and you won't care what color he is or by what name he calls God. Let us understand the situation. We're going into battle against a tough and determined enemy. I can't promise you that I will bring you all home alive, but this I swear, before you and before almighty God: that when we go into battle, I will be the first one to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off. And I will leave no one behind. Dead or alive, we will all come home together. So help me God.

Brian's Song - written by William Blinn, from the book by Gale Sayers & Al Silverman
Gale Sayers: I'd like to say a few words about a guy I know, a friend of mine. His name is Brian Piccolo, and he has the heart of a giant and that rare form of courage which allows him to kid himself and his opponent -- cancer. He has a mental attitude which makes me proud to have a friend who spells out "courage," 24 hours a day, every day of his life. Now, you flatter me by giving me this award. But I say to you here and now, Brian Piccolo is the man of courage who should receive the George S. Halas Award. It's mine tonight and Brian Piccolo's tomorrow. I love Brian Piccolo. And I'd like all of you to love him too. And tonight, you hit your knees: please ask God to love him.

Bull Durham  written by Ron Shelton
Crash Davis: Yeah, I was in the Show. I was in the Show for twenty-one days, once. Twenty-one greatest days of my life. You know you never handle your luggage in the Show -- somebody else carries your bags. It's great. You hit white balls for batting practice. Ballparks are like cathedrals. The hotels all have room service, the women have long legs and brains...the pitchers, they throw ungodly breaking stuff in the Show. Exploding sliders. You could be one of those guys. Nuke could be one of those guys (looks at Nuke LaLoosh) but you don't give a damn.

Aladdin - written by Roger Allers, Ron Clements, Ted Elliott, John Musker, & Terry Rossio
Genie: Aaaaahhhhh! OY! Ten-thousand years will give ya such a crick in the neck! Whoa! Does it feel good to be outta there! (pretends to have a microphone) Nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. (to Aladdin) Hi, where ya from? What's your name? Aladdin! Hello, Aladdin. Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you 'Al?' Or maybe just 'Din?' Or howbout 'Laddi?' (suddenly is wearing a kilt) Sounds like "Here, boy! C'mon, Laddi!" Do you smoke? Mind if I do? Oh, sorry Cheetah, hope I didn't singe the fur! Hey, Rugman! Haven't seen you in a few millennia! Slap me some tassel! Yo! Yeah! (high-fives carpet) Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. Either that or I'm gettin' bigger. Look at me from the side, do I look different to you? That's right, you're my master! He can be taught!! What would you wish of me, (as Arnold Schwarzenegger) the ever impressive, (inside a cube) the long contained, (as a ventriloquist with a dummy) often imitated, but never duplicated....he multiplies into about 7 different Genies)...duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated.... Genie! Of! The Lamp! (as Ed Sullivan) Right here direct from the lamp, right here for your enjoyment wish fulfillment. Thank youuuuu! (back) You get three wishes to be exact. And ix-nay on the wishing for more wishes. That's it, three. Uno, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges or refunds. Master, I don't think you quite realize what you've got here! So why don't you just ruminate, while I illuminate the possibilities!

Amadeus - written by Peter Shaffer
Salieri: Extraordinary! On the page it looked nothing. The beginning simple, almost comic. Just a pulse - bassoons and basset horns - like a rusty squeezebox. Then suddenly - high above it - an oboe, a single note, hanging there unwavering, till a clarinet took over and sweetened it into a phrase of such delight! This was no composition by a performing monkey! This was a music I'd never heard. Filled with such longing, such unfulfillable longing, it had me trembling. It seemed to me that I was hearing the voice of God.

Adventures of Robin Hood - written by Norman Reilly Raine & Seton I. Miller
Robin Hood: I've called you here as freeborn Englishmen, loyal to our king. While he reigned over us, we lived in peace. But since Prince John has seized the regency, Guy of Gisbourne and the rest of his traitors have murdered and pillaged. You've all suffered from their cruelty - the ear loppings, the beatings, the blindings with hot irons, the burning of our farms and homes, the mistreatment of our women. It's time to put an end to this! (cheers from the assembled company) Now, this forest is wide. It can shelter and clothe and feed a band of good, determined men - good swordsmen, good archers, good fighters. Men, if you're willing to fight for our people, I want you! Are you with me? (an unanimous yes then the swearing in of the rebels:) That you, the freemen of this forest, swear to despoil the rich only to give to the poor, to shelter the old and the helpless, to protect all women rich or poor, Norman or Saxon. Swear to fight for a free England. To protect her loyally until the return of our King and sovereign Richard the Lion Heart. And swear to fight to the death against our oppressors!

Apollo 13 - written by William Broyles Jr. & Al Reinert, from the book by Jim Lovell & Jeffrey Kluger
Television Reporter: And I asked him recently if he ever was scared.
Jim: Oh, well, I've had an engine flame out a few times in an aircraft...and was kind of curious as to whether it was goin' to light up again--things of that nature--but, uh, they seem to work out.
Television Reporter: Is there a specific instance in an airplane emergency when you can recall fear?
Jim: Uh, well, I tell ya, I remember this one time--I'm in a Banshee at night in combat conditions, so there's no running lights on the carrier. It was the Shangri-La, and we were in the Sea of Japan, and my, my radar had jammed, and my homing signal was gone...because somebody in Japan was actually using the same frequency. And so it was -- it was leading me away from where I was supposed to be. And I'm lookin' down at a big, black ocean, so, I flip on my map light, and then suddenly: zap. Everything shorts out right there in my cockpit. All my instruments are gone. My lights are gone. And I can't even tell now what my altitude is. I know I'm running out of fuel, so I'm thinking about ditching in the ocean. And I, I look down there, and then, in, in the darkness, there's this, uh, there's this green trail. It's like a long carpet that's just laid out right beneath me. And it was the algae, right? It was that phosphorescent stuff that gets churned up in the wake of a big ship. And it was, it was, it was just leading me home. You know? If my cockpit lights hadn't shorted out, there's no way I'd have ever been able to see that. So, uh, you never know...what...what events are going to transpire to get you home.



Apocalypse Now - written Francis Ford Coppola & John Milius, book by Joseph Conrad 
Kurtz: I've seen the horror. Horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that, but you have no right to judge me . It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face, and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and mortal terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies t o be feared. They are truly enemies.
I remember when I was with Special Forces--it seems a thousand centuries ago--we went into a camp to inoculate it. The children. We left the camp after we had inoculated the children for polio, and this old man came running after us, and he was crying. He couldn't see. We went there, and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile--a pile of little arms. And I remember...I...I...I cried, I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out, I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it, I never want to forget. And then I realized--like I was shot...like I was shot with a diamond...a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought, "My God, the genius of that, the genius, the will to do that." Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they could stand that--these were not monsters, these were men, trained cadres, these men who fought with their hearts, who have families, who have children, who are filled wi th love--that they had this strength, the strength to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men, then our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral and at the same time were able to utilize their primordial i nstincts to kill without feeling, without passion, without judgment--without judgment. Because it's judgment that defeats us.
I worry that my son might not understand what I've tried to be, and if I were to be killed, Willard, I would want someone to go to my home and tell my son everything. Everything I did, everything you saw, because there's nothing that I detest more than the stench of lies.  And if you understand me, Willard, you...you will do this for me.

A Beautiful Mind - written by Akiva Goldsman, book by Sylvia Nasar
Nash: Thank you. I've always believed in numbers; and the equations and logics that lead to reason. But after a lifetime of such pursuits, I ask, "What truly is logic? Who decides reason?" My quest has taken me through the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional -- and back. And I have made the most important discovery of my career, the most important discovery of my life: It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logic or reasons can be found. I'm only here tonight because of you. (his wife, Alicia) You are the reason I am. You are all my reasons.

Ben-Hur - written by Karl Tunberg, from the novel by General Lew Wallace
Messala: What do you think you see? The smashed body of a wretched animal! Is enough of a man still left here for you to hate? Let me help you......You think they're dead. Your mother and sister. Dead. And the race over. It isn't over Judah. They're not dead. Look for them in the Valley of the Lepers, if you can recognize them. It goes on. It goes on Judah. The race, the race is not over.

Black Hawk Down - written by Ken Nolan, from the book by Mark Bowden
Eversman: I was talking to Blackburn the other day...and he asked me, you know, what changed? Why are we going home? And I said, "Nothing." That's not true, you know. I think everything's changed. I know I've changed. You know, a friend of mine asked me, before I got here, just right when we were all shipping out, he asked me, "Why are you going to fight somebody else's war? What, do you all think you're heroes?" I didn't know what to say at the time, but...if he asked me again, I'd say no. I'd say there's no way in hell. Because nobody asks to be a hero...it just sometimes turns out that way. (he solemnly places his hand on Smith's chest) I'm gonna talk to your ma and pa when I get home, okay?

Adventures of Robin Hood  by Norman Reilly Raine & Seton I. Miller
Robin Hood: I've called you here as freeborn Englishmen, loyal to our king. While he reigned over us, we lived in peace. But since Prince John has seized the regency, Guy of Gisbourne and the rest of his traitors have murdered and pillaged. You've all suffered from their cruelty - the ear loppings, the beatings, the blindings with hot irons, the burning of our farms and homes, the mistreatment of our women. It's time to put an end to this! (cheers from the assembled company) Now, this forest is wide. It can shelter and clothe and feed a band of good, determined men - good swordsmen, good archers, good fighters. Men, if you're willing to fight for our people, I want you! Are you with me? (an unanimous yes then the swearing in of the rebels:) That you, the freemen of this forest, swear to despoil the rich only to give to the poor, to shelter the old and the helpless, to protect all women rich or poor, Norman or Saxon. Swear to fight for a free England. To protect her loyally until the return of our King and sovereign Richard the Lion Heart. And swear to fight to the death against our oppressors!

Ali       by Gregory Allen Howard, Stephen J. Rivele, Christopher Wilkinson, Eric Roth, & Michael Mann
(in an interview about a possible title fight with Joe Frazier.)
Muhammad Ali: But if I ever was to get in the ring with Joe, here's what you might see. Ali comes out to meet Frazier, but Frazier starts to retreat. If Joe back up an inch farther, he'll wind up in a ringside seat. Ali swings with his left. Ali swings with his right. Just look at the kid carry the fight. Frazier keeps backin', but there's not enough room. It's only a matter of time before Ali lowers the boom. Ali swings with his right. What a beautiful swing. But the punch lifts Frazier clean out of the ring. Frazier still rising, and the referee wears a frown 'cause he can't start countin' till Frazier comes down. Frazier's disappeared from view. The crowd is getting frantic. But our radar stations done picked him up. He's somewheres over the Atlantic. Now, who would've thought, when they came to the fight, they was gonna witness the launching of a black satellite? But don't wait for that fight. It ain't never gonna happen. The onliest thing you can do is wonder and imagine.
________________________________________
Muhammad Ali: I ain't draft dodging. I ain't burning no flag. I ain't running to Canada. I'm staying right here. You want to send me to jail? Fine, you go right ahead. I've been in jail for 400 years. I could be there for 4 or 5 more, but I ain't going no 10,000 miles to help murder and kill other poor people. If I want to die, I'll die right here, right now, fightin' you, if I want to die. You my enemy, not no Chinese, no Vietcong, no Japanese. You my opposer when I want freedom. You my opposer when I want justice. You my opposer when I want equality. Want me to go somewhere and fight for you? You won't even stand up for me right here in America, for my rights and my religious beliefs. You won't even stand up for my right here at home.

Armageddon        written by Jonathan Hensleigh & J.J. Abrams
President: I address you tonight, not as the President of the United States, not as the leader of the country, but as a citizen of humanity. We are faced with the very gravest of challenges. The bible calls this day 'Armageddon'. The end of all things. And yet, for the first time in the history of the planet, the species has the technology to prevent its own extinction. All of you praying with us need to know that everything that can be done to prevent this disaster is being called into service. The human thirst for excellence, knowledge, every step of the ladder of science, every... adventurous reach into space, all of our combined modern technologies and imaginations, even the wars that we have fought have provided us the tools to wage the terrible battle. Through all the chaos that is our history books, through all of the wrongs... and the discord, through all of the pain and suffering, through all of our times... there is one thing that has nourished our souls and elevated our species above its origin. And that is our courage. Tonight the hopes and dreams of an entire planet are focused on the fourteen brave souls traveling into the heavens. May we all see the events through with the dignity and perseverance worthy of such a challenge. Good night and Godspeed.

Avalon    written by Barry Levinson 
Sam: I came to America in 1914--by way of Philadelphia. That's where I got off the boat. And then I came to Baltimore. It was the most beautiful place you ever seen in your life. There were lights everywhere! What lights they had! It was a celebration of lights! I thought they were for me, Sam, who was in America. Sam was in America! I know what holiday it was, but there were lights. And I walked under them. The sky exploded, people cheered, there were fireworks! What welcome it was, what a welcome!
I didn't know where my brothers were. I had an address on a letter, but when I went thre, they'd moved. But I found a man who knew the name Krichinsky. He was a little man with big shoes. I'll never forget him! He had such big shoes! They were brand new beautiful shoes! He told me this was how he made his living! He would break in shoes for the wealthy. Stuff them with newspaper and walk in them. I said, 'what a country is this, what a country.' Wealthy didn't even have to break in their own shoes. Ahh. So this man with the shoes took me down one street after another. We walked and walked and the skies would light up and explode in a celebration!
And then we came to Avalon. And the man with the shoes yelled 'Krichinsky! Krichinsky!' And my four brothers looked down and saw me! Sam!  (The flashback ends here and we find ourself looking at a much older Sam, the storyteller, sitting in a chair, smoking a cigar)
And that's when I came to America, it was the Fourth of July. Boy, did they use to celebrate! Big celebrations! And they'd close the streets and would celebrate through the night! (hums to the children he's telling the story to, chuckling to himself) 

Back to the Future   written by Robert Zemeckis & Bob Gale 
Doc Brown: Let me show you how it works. First, you turn the time circuits on. This readout tells you where you're going, this one tells you where you are, this one tells you where you were. You input the destination time on this keypad. Say, you wanna see the signing of the declaration of independence, or witness the birth or Christ. Here's a red-letter date in the history of science, November 5, 1955. Yes, of course, November 5, 1955...That was the day I invented time travel. I remember it vividly. I was standing on the edge of my toilet hanging a clock, the porcelain was wet, I slipped, hit my head on the edge of the sink. And when I came to I had a revelation, a VISION, a picture in my head, a picture of this. This is what makes time travel possible. The flux capacitor...It's taken me almost thirty years and my entire family fortune to realize the vision of that day, my god has it been that long. Things have certainly changed around here. I remember when this was all farmland as far as the eye could see. Old man Peabody, owned all of this. He had this crazy idea about breeding pine trees. (gets weird faraway look in his eyes and shakes it away)

The Big Kahuna        written by Roger Rueff
Phil: He’s honest Bob; he’s blunt as well. That sometimes is part of being honest, because there are a lot of people who are blunt. But not honest. Larry is not one of those. Larry is an honest man. You too are an honest man, Bob. I believe that, that somewhere down deep inside you is something that strives to be honest. The question you have to ask yourself is, has it touched the whole of my life? That means that you preaching Jesus is no different than Larry or anybody else preaching lubricants. It doesn’t matter whether you’re selling Jesus or buddah or civil rights or how to make money in real estate with no money down. That doesn’t make you a human being. It makes you a marketing rep. If you want to talk to someone honestly, as a human being… ask him about his kids. Find out what his dreams are. Just to find out. For no other reason. Because as soon as you lay your hands on a conversation to steer it. It’s not a conversation anymore. It’s a pitch, and you’re not a human being, you’re a marketing rep. We were talking before about character. You were asking me about character. And we were speaking of faces. But the question is much deeper than that. The question is, do you have any character at all? And if you want my honest opinion Bob, you do not. For the simple reason that you don’t regret anything yet. You’ve already done plenty of things to regret. You just don't know what they are. It's when you discover them. When you see the folly in something you've done. And you wish you had it to do over. But you know you can't because it's too late. So you pick that thing up and you carry it with you. To remind you that life goes on. The world will spin without you. You really don't matter in the end. Then you will attain character because honesty will reach out from inside and tattoo itself all across your face. Until that day however, you cannot expect to go beyond a certain point.
The Big Lebowski    written by Ethan & Joel Coen
Walter: Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was...he was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors, and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of southern California from La Holla to Leo Carillo, and up to Pismo. He died.. he died as so many young men of his generation before his time, and in your wisdom, Lord, you took him. Just as you took so many bright, flowering young men at Khe San, and Lan Doc, and Hill 364. These young men gave their lives, and so did Donny. Donny who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos.. in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been....we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Goodnight, sweet prince.   (Walter dumps the ashes out of the coffee can. The wind blows them all onto The Dude.)

Blues Brothers 2000           written by Dan Aykroyd & John Landis 
Elwood Blues: You may go if you wish, but remember this: walk away now and you walk away from your crafts, your skills, your vocations, leaving the next generation with nothing but recycled digitally sampled techno-grooves, quasi-synth rhythms, pseudo songs of violence laden gangsta' rap, acid pop and simpering, ciphering, soulless slush. Depart now and you forever separate yourselves from the vital American legacies of Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters, Willie Dickson, Jimmy Reede, Memphis Slim, Blind Boy Fuller, Louie Jordan, Little Walter, Big Walter, Sunny Boy Williamson I and II, Otis Redding, Jackie Wilson, Elvis Presley, Leiber and Stoller, and Robert K. Weiss....Turn your backs now and you snuff out the fragile candles of Blues, R&B and Soul. And when those flames flicker and expire, the light of the world is extinguished because the music which has moved mankind for seven decades leading to the millennium will wither and die on the vine of abandonment and neglect.

Breakfast at Tiffany's       written by George Axelrod, novel by Truman Capote 
Paul Varjak: You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to eachother, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.

Caddyshack      written by Brian Doyle-Murray, Douglas Kenney, & Harold Ramis
Carl: So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one---big hitter, the Lama---long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Carlito's Way  written by David Koepp, from the novels by Edwin Torres
Carlito: Sorry boys, all the stitches in the world can't sew me together again. Lay down... lay down. Gonna stretch me out in Fernandez funeral home on hun and ninth street. Always knew I'd make a stop there, but a lot later than a whole gang of people thought. Last of the Mo-Ricans, well maybe not the last. Gail's gonna be a good mom. New improved Carlito Brigante. Hope she uses the money to get out. No room in this city for big hearts like us... Sorry baby, I tried the best I could. Honest. Can't come with me on this trip loaf. Getting the shakes now, Last call for drinks, Bars closing down... Sun's out... Where are we going for breakfast, don't wanna go far.. Rough night.. Tired baby... Tired... 

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation                    written by John Hughes
Clark Griswold: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny stinking Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white butt down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of folks this side of the nuthouse!
Clark Griswold: Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, hopeless, heartless, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of garbage he is! Hallelujah!

Female Screen Monologues

My Fair Lady  
written by Alan Jay Lerner, adapted from the play by George Bernard Shaw
Eliza Doolittle: My aunt died of influenza, so they said. But it's my belief they done the old woman in. Yes Lord love you! Why should she die of influenza when she come through diphtheria right enough the year before? Fairly blue with it she was. They all thought she was dead. But my father, he kept ladling gin down her throat. Then she come to so sudden that she bit the bowl off the spoon. Now, what would you call a woman with that strength in her have to die of influenza, and what become of her new straw hat that should have come to me? Somebody pinched it, and what I say is, them that pinched it, done her in. Them she lived with would have killed her for a hatpin, let alone a hat. And as for father ladling the gin down her throat, it wouldn't have killed her. Not her. Gin was as mother's milk to her. Besides, he's poured so much down his own throat that he knew the good of it.

The Notebook - 
written by Jan Sardi & Jeremy Leven, novel by Nicholas Sparks
Allie: Do you remember sneaking over here the first time you told me about this place? I got home late that evening, and my parents were furious when I finally came in. I can still picture my daddy standing in the living room, my mother on the sofa, staring straight ahead. I swear, they looked as if a family member had died. That was the first time my parents knew I was serious about you, and my mother had a long talk with me later that night. She said to me,” Sometimes, our future is dictated by who we are, not what we want." And I know it was wrong of her to keep your letters from me, but just try to understand. Once we left, she probably thought it would be easier for me to just let go. In her mind, she was trying to protect my feelings, and she probably thought the best way to do that was to hide the letters you sent. Not that any of it matters, now that I have Lon. He's handsome, charming, successful. He's kind to me, he makes me laugh, and I know he loves me in his own special way...but there's always going to be something missing in our relationship -- the kind of love we had that summer.

The Princess Diaries - written by Gina Wendkos, from the novel by Meg Cabot
Mia: Hi, um... hello. I'm Mia. Um, it's stopped raining! I'm really no good at speech-making. Normally I get so nervous that I faint or run away, or sometimes I even get sick. But you really didn't need to know that... But I'm not so afraid anymore. See, my father helped me. Earlier this evening had every intention of giving up my claim to the throne. And my mother helped me, by telling me it was ok, and by supporting me like she has for my entire life. But then I wondered how I'd feel after abdicating my role as Princess of Genovia. Would I feel relieved, or would I feel sad? And then I realized how many stupid times a day I use the word 'I.' And probably all I ever do is think about myself. And how lame is that when there's like seven billion other people out there on the planet, and... sorry, I'm going too fast. But then I thought, if I cared about the other seven billion out there, instead of just me, that's probably a much better use of my time.
See, if I were Princess of Genovia, then my thoughts and the thoughts of people smarter than me would be much better heard, and just maybe those thoughts could be turned into actions. So this morning when I woke up, I was Mia Thermopolis. But now I choose to be forevermore, Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, Princess of Genovia.

Sense & Sensibility - written by Emma Thompson, from novel by Jane Austen
Elinor: [trying hard to be controlled] Edward made his promise a long time ago, long before he met me. Though he may harbor some regrets, I believe he will be happy in the knowledge that he did his duty and kept his word. After all - after all that is bewitching in the idea of one's happiness depending entirely on one person, it is not always possible. We must accept. Edward will marry Lucy - and you and I will go home.
Marianne: Always resignation and acceptance! Always prudence and honor and duty! Elinor, where is your heart?
Elinor: [Finally explodes She turns upon Marianne almost savagely] What do you know of my heart? What do you know of anything but your own suffering? For weeks, Marianne, I've had this pressing on me without being at liberty to speak of it to a single creature. It was forced upon me by the very person whose prior claims ruined all my hopes. I have had to endure her exultation again and again whilst knowing myself to be divided from Edward forever. Believe me, Marianne, had I not been bound to silence I could have produced proof enough of a broken heart even for you!

Ten Things I Hate About You
written by Karen McCullah Lutz & Kirsten Smith; adapted from the play by William Shakespeare
Kat: I hate the way you talk to me. And the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare I hate your big dumb combat boots. And the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick-- it even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh -- even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around. And the fact that you didnt call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you - - not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Chicago
written by Bill Condon, from the musical written by Maurine Dallas Watkins, Bob Fosse, & Fred Ebb
Roxie: (speaking to Mama) I always wanted to have my name in all the papers. Before I met Amos I use to date this well-to-do ugly bootlegger. He used to like to take me out and show me off. Ugly guys like to do that. < song intro the into segueways which - laughs>Once it said in the paper, "Gangland's Al Capelli seen at Chez Vito with cute blond chorine." That was me. I clipped it and saved it. You know, all my life I wanted to have my own act. But noooo, no, no, no, it's always no, they always turned me down. One big world full of no! And then Amos came along. Safe, sweet Amos. Who never says no. Ohh. (coy giggles) I’ve never done this before, but you know, it is such a special night and you are such a great audience! (applause from Roxie's "audience") And, and, I just really feel like I can talk to you, you know? So forget what you've read in the papers, and forget what you’ve heard on the radio because, because, because I'm gonna tell you the truth. (giggles) Not that the truth really matters, but I'm gonna tell you anyway. In the bed department, Amos was......zero. I mean, when he made love to me, it was like, it was like he was fixing a carborator or something, (pretends to play with her breasts, imitating Amos) "I love ya, honey, I love ya!" Anyway, I started fooling around...and then I started screwing around, which is fooling around without dinner. Then I met Fred Casley, who said he could get me into vaudeville, but that didn't quite work out like I planned. I guess it didn't really work out too great for Fred either. So I gave up with the whole vaudeville idea, 'cause you gotta figure after all those years -- opportunities just pass you by. (sings) But it ain't, oh no no no no, but it ain't. (speaking again) And now, if this Flynn guy gets me off, with all this publicity, I got me a world full of YES!

Freaky Friday
written by Heather Hach and Leslie Dixon, from the novel by Mary Rodgers
Tess (as her daughter Anna): Mr. Bates, may I please speak with you? By what stretch of the imagination . . . I mean, like, how could I, like, get an “F”? I mean, what mistakes did I make? That was a college-level analysis. In a matter of fact I most certainly am qualified of making that point. "As in Hamlet, ‘what’s done is done’"? That’s "Macbeth," you know-nothing twit. Bates. Elton Bates. Griffith High School. Well, you asked me, I mean, my mom to the prom, but she turned you down. And now you’re taking it out on her daughter, aren’t you? Aren’t you?! Oh come on, it was high school dance. I mean, you’ve got to let go and move on, man. And if you don’t, I’m ! sure the school board would love to hear about your pathetic vendetta against an innocent student. Oh, and by the way Elton, she had a boyfriend, and you were weird.
============
Tess (as Anna): I have to ask you to do something for me. It needs to happen now before the toasts and speeches. Clearly we're not switching back tonight. I need you to tell Ryan you need to postpone the wedding. No, listen, I can see you're not ready for this. And I can wait. I guess that I was just so happy, I wasn't thinking about what's best for you and Harry. If he loves me like I think he does, he'll wait, too. He'll understand. He'll be very sweet and gracious about it. But please, just please let him know that I love him. And be as kind as you possibly can for me.

Legally Blonde - written by Karen McCullah Lutz & Kirsten Smith, from the novel by Amanda Brown
Elle: On our very first day at Harvard a very wise professor quoted Aristotle... "the law is reason free from passion." Well...no offense to Aristotle, but in my three years at Harvard I have come to find that passion is a key ingredient to the study and practice of law...and of life. It is with passion, courage of conviction, and strong sense of self that we take our next steps into the world. Remembering that first impressions are not always correct, you must always have faith in people, and most importantly...you must always have faith in yourself. Congratulations class of 2004...we did it!

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby 
written by Will Ferrell & Adam McKay
Susan: It's because it's what you love, Ricky. It is who you were born to be. And here you sit. Thinking. Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. He is a doer, and that's what you need to do. You don't need to think. You need to drive. You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. You need to fire it up. You need to grab ahold of that line between speed and chaos, and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And then, when the fear rises up in your belly, you use it. And you know that fear is powerful, because it has been there for billions of years. And it is good. And you use it. And you ride it; you ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell, and then you win, Ricky. You WIN! And you don't win for anybody else. You win for you, you know why? Because a man takes what he wants. He takes it all. And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you?

As Good As It Gets- written by James L. Brooks
Carol: You know, it's really something that you're looking after Simon. And what I said on the street (pause) it was a bad thing to say. It made me sick to my stomach--it was a...bad thing to say. And I’d be lying if I didn’t say...that I enjoy your company. But the truth is that you do bother me enormously, and I know that it-- think that it-- I think that it’s better that I don’t have contact with you because you’re not ready! And you’re a pretty old guy not to be ready and I’m too old to ignore that. But there were extraordinary kindnesses that did take place. (laughs) So anyways thanks for the trip. Goodnight! Goodnight... 

Addams Family Values - written by Paul Rudnick
Debbie: I don't want to hurt anybody. I don't enjoy hurting anybody. I don't like guns or bombs or electric chairs, but sometimes people just won't listen and so I have to use persuasion, and slides. My parents, Sharon and Dave. Generous, doting, or were they? All I ever wanted was a Ballerina Barbie in her pretty pink tutu. My birthday, I was 10 and do you know what they got me? Malibu Barbie. That's not what I wanted, that's not who I was. I was a ballerina. Graceful. Delicate. They had to go. My first husband, the heart surgeon. All day long, coronaries, transplants. "Sorry about dinner, Deb, the Pope has a cold." Husband number 2: the senator. He loved his state. He loved his country. Sorry Debbie. No Mercedes this year. We have to set an example." Oh yeah. Set this! My latest husband. My late, late husband Fester, and his adorable family. You took me in. You accepted me. But did any of you love me? I mean, really love me? So I killed. So I maimed. So I destroyed one innocent life after another. Aren't I a human being? Don't I yearn and ache...and shop? Don't I deserve love...and jewelry? Good-bye everybody. Wish me luck.

In the Name of the Father
written by Terry George & Jim Sheridan, from book by Gerry Conlon
Gareth Peirce: Will you read this statement that you took from him on the 3rd of November, 1974? A statement, my Lord, that vindicates all of these people, all of these innocent people. Someone ordered that these people be used as scapegoats by a nation that was begging for blood. In return for the innocent blood spilled on the streets of London. [ turning to Mr Dixon very angrily] And by God you got your blood Mr Dixon! You got the blood of Giuseppe Conlon, you got the life blood of Carol Richardson, and you've got 15 years of blood, sweat, and pain for my client and his only crime was being Irish, and being in the wrong place at the wrong time. 
And one of your colleagues, My Lord, who sat where you're sitting now, said and I quote, "It was a pity that you were not charged with treason to the crown. A charge that carries a penalty of death by hanging. A sentence I would have had no trouble in passing in this case." My Lord, this brings the entire English legal system into disrepute. My Lord, this alibi for Gerry Conlon was taken by Mr. Dixon one month after Gerry Conlon was arrested. This note was attatched to it when I found it in police files. [Holds up note] It reads, "not to be shown to the defense." [Turning back to Mr. Dixon] I have one question for you Mr. Dixon.
Why was the alibi for Gerry Conlon, who was charged wih the murder of five innocent people, kept from the defense?

Mommie Dearest
by Robert Getchell, Tracy Hotchner, Frank Perry, & Frank Yablans, by Christina Crawford
Joan Crawford: No wire hangers! What's wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you no wire hangers?! EVER!!!! I work till I'm half dead and I hear people say she's getting old! What do I get ? A daughter who cares as much about a beautiful dress I give her as she cares about me. What's wire hangers doing in this closet?! Answer me! I buy you beautiful dresses and you treat 'em like some dishrag! You threw a 300 dollar dress on a wire hanger! We'll see how many you got hidden in here, we'll see! All of this is coming out! Out! Out! Out! Out! We're gonna see how many wire hangers you got in your closet! Wire hangers. Why? Why? Christina, get out of that bed! Get out of that bed! (picks up hanger and begins to beat Christina) You live in the most beautiful house in Brentwood and you don’t care about crease marks from wire hangers, and your room looks like some two dollar unfurnished room in some two- bit backstreet town in Oklahoma! Get up! Clean up this mess! Did you scrub the bathroom floor today? Did you?

Pretty Woman - written by J.F. Lawton
Vivian: When I was a little girl... my momma used to lock me in the attic when I was bad, which was pretty often... and I would... I would pretend I was a princess trapped in a tower by a wicked queen. Then suddenly, a knight on a white horse with colors flying would come charging up and draw his sword... and I would wave... and he would climb up the tower, and rescue me. (pause) But never... in all the times that I had this dream did the knight say to me, 'Come on baby, I'll put you up in a great condo.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
by Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, & Peter Jackson, novel J.R.R. Tolkien
Galadriel: (speaking partly in Elvish) I amar prestar aen. The world is changed. Han matho ne nen. I feel it in the water. Han mathon ned cae. I feel it in the earth. A han noston ned gwilith. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it.
It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf-Lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else desire power. For within these rings was bound the strength and the will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another ring was made. Deep in the land of Mordor, in the Fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master ring to control all others, and into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One ring to rule them all.
One by one, the free lands of Middle-Earth fell to the power of the Ring, but there were some who resisted. A last alliance of Men and Elves marched against the armies of Mordor, and on the very slopes of Mount Doom, they fought for the freedom of Middle-Earth. Victory was near, but the power of the ring could not be undone.
It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Isildur, son of the king, took up his father's sword.
Sauron, enemy of the free peoples of Middle-Earth, was defeated. The Ring passed to Isildur, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever, but the hearts of men are easily corrupted. And the ring of power has a will of its own. It betrayed Isildur, to his death.
Sauron, the enemy of the free peoples of Middle-Earth, was defeated. The Ring passed to Isildur, who had this once chance to destroy evil forever. But the hearts of Men are easily corrupted. And the ring of power has a will of its own. It betrayed Isildur, to his death. And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend, legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, the ring passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer.
The Ring came to the creature Gollum, who took it deep into the tunnels of the Misty Mountains. And there it consumed him. The ring brought to Gollum unnatural long life. For five hundred years it poisoned his mind, and in the gloom of Gollum's cave, it waited. Darkness crept back into the forests of the world. Rumor grew of a shadow in the East, whispers of a nameless fear, and the Ring of Power percieved its time had now come. It abandoned Gollum. But something happened then that the Ring did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable: a Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, of the Shire.
For the time will soon come when hobbits will shape the fortunes of all.

Spider-Man II
written by Alfred Gough, Miles Millar, Michael Chabon, and Alvin Sargent
Aunt May: He knows a hero when he sees one. Too few characters out there, flying around like that, saving old girls like me. And Lord knows, kids like Henry need a hero. Courageous, self-sacrificing people. Setting examples for all of us. Everybody loves a hero. People line up for them, cheer them, scream their names. And years later, they'll tell how they stood in the rain for hours just to get a glimpse of the one who taught them how to hold on a second longer. I believe there's a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady, and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams.

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope - written by George Lucas
Princess Leia Organa: General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire. I regret that I am unable to present my fathers request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack and I am afraid that my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrive it. You must see this droid saftly delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

The Wizard of Oz  - written by L. Frank Baum (novel)
Dorothy: But it wasn't a dream. It was a place. And you and you and you...and you were there. But you couldn't have been could you? No, Aunt Em, this was a real truly live place and I remember some of it wasn't very nice, but most of it was beautiful--but just the same all I kept saying to everybody was "I want to go home," and they sent me home! Doesn't anybody believe me? But anyway, Toto, we're home! Home. And this is my room, and you're all here and I'm not going to leave here ever, ever again. Because I love you all. And... Oh Auntie Em! There's no place like home!

While You Were Sleeping - written by Fred Lebow & Daniel Sullivan 
Lucy: Okay, there are two things that I remember about my childhood. I just don't remember it being this orange. First, I remember being with my dad. He would get these far off looks in his eyes and he would say, 'life doesn't always turn out the way you planned." I just wish I had realized he was talking about my life. But that never stopped us from taking our adventures together. He would pack up our sometimes working car and tell me amazing stories about strange and exotic lands as we headed off to exciting destinations like Milwaukee. It's amazing how exotic Wisconsin.....isn't But my favorite memories are the stories that he'd tell me about my mom. He would take me to the church where they got married and I'd beg him to tell me more about the ceremony and about my crazy uncle Irwin who fell asleep in the macaroni and cheese, and I'd ask my dad when he knew he truly loved my mom and he'd say, "Lucy, your mother gave me a special gift. She gave me the world." Actually, it was a globe with a light in it but for the romantic that he was, he might have been the world. Well, the first time that I saw him he didn't exactly give me the world. It was a dollar fifty for a train token. I looked forward to it every single day. He started coming to my booth between 8:01 and 8:15 every morning, Monday through Friday. And he was perfect.....my prince charming. We've never actually spoken, but I know someday that we will. I know it. I know that someday I will find a way to introduce myself and that's going to be perfect, just like my prince. 

Lucy: I bet you were wondering what I'm doing here in the middle of the night. Well, I thought I should introduce myself. My name is Lucy. Lucy Elenore Moderatz. Umm......I think you should know that your family thinks we're engaged. I've never been engaged before. This is very sudden for me. Umm, what I really came here to tell was that I didn't mean for this to happen. I don't know what to do. If you were awake, I wouldn't be in this mess. Oh God, not that I'm blaming you. I'm sorry. It's just that when I was a kid, I always imagined what I would be like or what I would have when I got older. And you know, it was normal stuff. I'd have a house and a family and things like that. It's not that I'm complaining or anything, because I do have a cat. I have an apartment. I have a sole possession of a remote control. That's very important. It's just that I've never met anybody that I could laugh with. Do you believe in love at first site? I bet you don't. You're probably too sensible for that. Or have you ever seen somebody and you know, that if that person really knew you, they'd dump the perfect model that they were with and realize that you were the one that they wanted to grow old with? Have you ever fallen in love with somebody that you haven't even talked to? Have you ever been so alone that you spend the night confusing a man in a coma?

The Terminator - written by James Cameron
Sarah: The hardest thing is deciding what I should tell you and what not to. Well, anyway, I've got a while yet before you're old enough to understand the tapes. They're more for me at this point... to help get it all straight.
Should I tell you about your father? That's a tough one. Will it change your decision to send him here...knowing? But if you don't send Kyle, you could never be. God, you can go crazy thinking about all this...I suppose I'll tell you...I owe him that. And maybe it'll be enough if you know that in the few hours we had together we loved a lifetime's worth...

Anne of Green Gables - written by Kevin Sullivan & Joe Wiesenfeld, 
Anne: Mrs. Lynde, I'm extremely sorry I behaved so terribly. I've disgraced my good friends who've let me stay at Green Gables on trial, even though I'm not a boy. I am wicked and ungrateful, and I deserve to be cast out forever. What you said was true; I am skinny and ugly, and my hair is red. What I said about you was true too, only I shouldn't have said it. Please, Mrs. Lynde, forgive me. You wouldn't be so cruel as to inflict a life-long sorrow on a poor orphan. Please. Please, forgive me.

It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! - written by Charles M. Schulz
Sally Brown: I was robbed! I spent the whole night waiting for the Great Pumpkin when I could have been out for tricks or treats! Halloween is over and I missed it! You blockhead! You kept me up all night waiting for the Great Pumpkin and all that came was a beagle! I didn't get a chance to go out for tricks or treats! And it was all your fault! I'll sue! What a fool I was. And could have had candy apples and gum! And cookies and money and all sorts of things! But no, I had to listen to you! You blockhead. What a fool I was. Trick or treats come only once a year. And I miss it by sitting in a pumpkin patch with a blockhead. You owe me restitution!

Angels in America - written by Tony Kushner
Harper: I feel better, I do, I...feel better. There are ice crystals in my lungs, wonderful and sharp. And the snow smells like cold, crushed peaches. And there’s something... some current of blood in the wind, how strange, it has that iron taste. Where am I? (looking around, then realizing) Antarctica. This is Antarctica! Oh boy oh boy, LOOK at this, I... Wow, I must’ve really snapped the tether, huh?
I want to stay here forever. Set up camp. Build things. Build a city, an enormous city made up of frontier forts, dark wood and green roofs and high gates made of pointed logs and bonfires burning on every street corner. I should build by a river. Where are the forests?
I’ll plant them and grow them. I’ll live off caribou fat, I’ll melt it over the bonfires and drink it from long, curved goat-horn cups. It’ll be great. I want to make a new world here. So that I never have to go home again. I can have anything I want here–maybe even companionship, someone who has...desire for me. There isn’t anyone...maybe an Eskimo. Who could ice-fish for food. And help me build a nest for when the baby comes. Here, I can be pregnant. And I can have any kind of baby I want.
I’m going to like this place. It’s my own National Geographic Special! Oh! Oh! (She holds her stomach) I think... I think I felt her kicking. Maybe I’ll give birth to a baby covered with thick white fur, and that way she won’t be cold. My breasts will be full of hot cocoa so she doesn’t get chilly. And if it gets really cold, she’ll have a pouch I can crawl into. Like a marsupial. We’ll mend together. That’s what we’ll do; we’ll mend.

101 Dalmatians written by John Hughes, from the novel by Dodie Smith 
Cruella De Vil: You beasts! But I'm not beaten yet. You've won the battle, but I'm about to win the wardrobe. My spotty puppy coat is in plain sight and leaving tracks. In a moment I'll have what I came for, while all of you will end up as sausage meat, alone on some sad, plastic plate. Dead and medium red. No friends, no family, no pulse. Just slapped between two buns, smothered in onions, with fries on the side. Cruella De Vil has the last laugh! 

As Good As It Gets - written by James L. Brooks
Carol: You know, it's really something that you're looking after Simon. And what I said on the street (pause) it was a bad thing to say. It made me sick to my stomach--it was a...bad thing to say. And I’d be lying if I didn’t say...that I enjoy your company. But the truth is that you do bother me enormously, and I know that it-- think that it-- I think that it’s better that I don’t have contact with you because you’re not ready! And you’re a pretty old guy not to be ready and I’m too old to ignore that. But there were extraordinary kindnesses that did take place. (laughs) So anyways thanks for the trip. Goodnight! Goodnight... 

Clueless - written by Amy Heckerling
Cher: So, OK, like right now, for example, the Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all "What about the strain on our resources?" But it's like, when I had this garden party for my father's birthday right? I said R.S.V.P. because it was a sit-down dinner. But people came that like, did not R.S.V.P. so I was like, totally buggin'. I had to race to the kitchen, redistribute the food, squish in extra place settings, but by the end of the day it was like, the more the merrier! And so, if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion, may I please remind you that it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty?

The Devil Wears Prada - written by Aline Brosh McKenna, novel by Lauren Weisberger
Miranda Priestly: I don't understand why it's so difficult to confirm an appointment.
Emily (Emily Blunt): I know, I'm so sorry, Miranda. I actually did confirm...
Miranda Priestly: The details of your incompetence do not interest me. Tell Simone I'm not going to prove that girl that she sent me for the Brazilian layout. I asked for clean, athletic, smiling; she sent me dirty, tired and paunchy. And RSVP yes to Michael Kors' party, I want the driver to drop me off at 9:30 and pick me up at 9:45 sharp. Then call Natalie at Gloria's Foods and tell her no, for the 40th time, no, I don't want dacquoise, I want tortes filled with warm rhubarb compote. Then call my ex-husband and remind him that the parent/teacher conference at Dalton tonight. Then call my husband. Ask him to please meet me for dinner at that place I went to with Masima. Also, tell Richard I saw all the pictures that he sent for that feature on the female paratroopers and they're all so deeply unattractive. Is it impossible to find a lovely, slender, female paratrooper? Am I reaching for the stars here? Not really. Also I need to see all the things that Nigel has pulled for Gwyneth's second cover try. I wonder if she's lost any of that weight yet. (sees Andy) Who is that?
________________________________________

Miranda Priestly: Stephen isn't coming.
Andy Sachs: Oh, okay. So, then I don't need to fetch Stephen at the airport tomorrow?
Miranda Priestly: Well, if you speak to him and he decides to rethink the divorce, then yes. Fetch away. You're very fetching, so go fetch. And then, when we get back to New York, we need to contact Leslie and see what she can do to minimize the press on all this. Another divorce, splashed across page 6. Just imagine what they're going to write about me: "The Dragon Lady, career-obsessed. Snow Queen drives away another Mr. Priestley." Rupert Murdoch should cut me a check for all the papers I sell for him. Anyway, I don't really care what anybody writes about me. But, my girls. It's just so unfair to the girls. Another disappointment, another letdown, another father figure. Anyway, the point is... the point is... the point is we really need to figure out where to place Donatella, because she's barely speaking to anyone.
________________________________________

(Miranda and her assistants are deciding between two similar belts for an outfit. Andy sniggers because she thinks they look exactly the same.)
Miranda Priestly: Something funny?
Andy Sachs: No, no, nothing. Y'know, it's just that both those belts look exactly the same to me. Y'know, I'm still learning about all this stuff.
Miranda Priestly: This... 'stuff'? Oh... ok. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don't know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis, it's actually cerulean. You're also blindly unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves St Laurent, wasn't it, who showed cerulean military jackets? And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. Then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic "casual corner" where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and so it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you're wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of "stuff."

Fried Green Tomatoes - written by Fannie Flagg and Carol Sobieski
Ruth: I had a dream the other night. I dreamt that Buddy was gone. I ran to his crib and there he was, sleeping like an angel. And you know, I thanked God for letting me still have Buddy. And I remembered having the same reaction after Frank would beat me, thanking the Lord for giving me the strength to take it. And I remembered thanking the Lord for each day that my mother lived. Even when she was spittin' up blood and prayin' for me to kill her. I looked into my mother's eyes, pleadin' for me to help her, and all I could do was pray. While... while you were gone, and I was holding Buddy, I thought, "If that man, Frank Bennett, ever tries to take my child, I won't pray. I'll break his neck. 

A Cinderella Story  written by Leigh Dunlap
Austin (Chad Michael Murray): Okay, I know you think I'm just some...
Sam: Coward? Phony?
Austin: Okay, just listen.
Sam: No, you listen. You turned out to be exactly who I thought you were. I never pretended to be somebody else. It's been me all along. And it was me who was hurt in front of everybody. Look, I didn't come here to yell at you, okay? I know what it feels like to be afraid to show who you are. I was. But not anymore. And the thing is, I don't care what people think about me... because I believe in myself. And I know that things are gonna be okay. But even though I have no family, and no job, and no money for college... it's you that I feel sorry for. (pause) I know that guy that sent those emails is somewhere inside of you, but, I can't wait for him... because waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing.

The English Patient  written by Anthony Minghella, novel by Michael Ondaatje
A very slow reading; switches voices back and forth from the recent past to the present, Katharine (Kristin Scott Thomas) and Hana (Juliette Binoche).
Voice of Hana/Voice of Katharine: My darling. I'm waiting for you. How long is the day in the dark? Or a week? The fire is gone. And I'm cold, horribly cold. I really want to drag myself outside but then there'd be the sun. I'm afraid I'll waste the light on the paintings, not writing these words. We die. We die, we die rich with lovers and triumphs, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we have...entered and swum up like rivers. Fears we have hidden in--like this wretched cave. I want all this marked on my body. Where the real country is. Not boundaries drawn on maps, names of powerful men. I know you'll come carry me out to the Palace of Winds. That's what I've wanted: to walk in such a place with you. With friends and an earth without maps. The lamp has gone out and I'm writing in the darkness.

GoodFellas           written by Nicholas Pileggi & Martin Scorsese
Karen: Well, we weren't married to nine-to-five guys, but the first time I realized how different was when Mickey had a hostess party. They had bad skin and wore too much make-up. I mean, they didn't look very good. They looked beat-up. And the stuff they wore was thrown together and cheap. A lot of pant suits and double knits. And they talked about how rotten their kids were and about beating them with broom handles and leather belts. But that the kids still didn't pay any attention...After a while, it got to be all normal. None of it seemed like crimes. It was more like Henry was enterprising and that he and the guys were making a few bucks hustling, while the other guys were sitting around waiting for hand-outs. Our husbands weren't brain surgeons. They were blue-collar guys. The only way they could make extra money, real extra money, was to go out and cut a few corners...We were all so very close. I mean, there were never any outsiders around. Absolutely never. And being together all the time made everything seem all the more normal.

The Holiday              written by Nancy Meyers
Iris: I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It's called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms. I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

The Manchurian Candidate    written by George Axelrod & John Frankenheimer; novel by Richard Condon 
Mrs.Iselin: It has been decided that you will be dressed as a priest... to help you get away in the pandemonium afterwards. Chunjin will give you a two-piece Soviet Army sniper's rifle that fits nicely into a special bag. There's a spotlight booth that won't be in use. It's up under the roof on the Eighth Avenue side of the Garden. You will have absolutely clear, protected shooting. (rises) You are to shoot the presidential nominee through the head. And Johnny will rise gallantly to his feet and lift Ben Arthur's body in his arms, stand in front of the microphones and begin to speak. The speech is short. But it's the most rousing speech I've ever read. It's been worked on, here and in Russia, on and off, for over eight years. I shall force someone to take the body away from him and Johnny will really hit those microphones and those cameras with blood all over him, fighting off anyone who tries to help him, defending America even if it means his own death, rallying a nation of television viewers to hysteria, to sweep us up into the White House with powers that will make martial law seem like anarchy. Now, this is very important. I want the nominee to be dead two minutes after he begins his acceptance speech -- depending on his reading time under pressure. You are to hit him right at the point that he finishes the phrase, "Nor would I ask of any fellow American in defense of his freedom that which I would not gladly give myself -- my life before my liberty." Is that absolutely clear? ...
(Mrs. Iselin touches her son's head, then sits down before him and takes his hands in hers. The giant queen of diamonds is visible in the background between them.)
Mrs. Iselin: I know you will never entirely comprehend this, Raymond. But you must believe I did not know it would be you. I served them. I fought for them. I'm on the point of winning for them the greatest foothold they will ever have in this country. And they paid me back by taking your soul away from you. I told them to build me an assassin. I wanted a killer from a world filled with killers and they chose you. Because they thought it would bind me closer to them.
(Mrs. Iselin pulls Raymond closer to her. She takes his face in her hands.)
Mrs. Iselin: But now we have come almost to the end. One last step. And then, when I take power, they will be pulled down and ground into dirt for what they did to you. And what they did in so contemptuously underestimating me.

Million Dollar Baby     written by Paul Haggis, from the stories by F.X. Toole
Maggie Fitzgerald: I'm 32, Mr. Dunn, and I'm here celebrating the fact that I spent another year scraping dishes and waitressing which is what I've been doing since 13, and according to you I'll be 37 before I can even throw a decent punch, which I have to admit, after working on this speed bag for a month may be the God's simple truth. Other truth is, my brother's in prison, my sister cheats on welfare by pretending one of her babies is still alive, my daddy's dead, and my momma weighs 312 pounds. If I was thinking straight I'd go back home, find a used trailer, buy a deep fryer and some Oreos. Problem is, this the only thing I ever felt good doing. If I'm too old for this then I got nothing. That enough truth to suit you?

Million Dollar Baby
written by Paul Haggis, from the stories by F.X. Toole
Maggie Fitzgerald: I can't be like this, Frankie. Not after what I've done. I've seen the world. People chanted my name. Well, not my name, some name you gave me. But they were chanting for me. I was in magazines. You think I ever dreamed that'd happen? I was born at two pounds, one-and-a-half ounces. Daddy used to tell me I fought into this world, and I'd fight my way out. That's all I wanna do, Frankie. I just don't wanna fight you to do it. I got what I needed. I got it all. Don't let 'em keep taking it away from me. Don't let me lie here 'till I can't hear those people chanting no more.

Misery      written by William Goldman, from the novel by Stephen King
Annie: Anything else I can get for you while I am in town? How about a tiny tape recorder, or how about a homemade pair of writing slippers?
Paul: Annie, what's the matter?
Annie: What's the matter? WHAT'S THE MATTER?! I will tell you "what's the matter!" I go out of my way for you! I do everything to try and make you happy. I feed you, I clean you, I dress you, and what thanks do I get? "Oh, you bought the wrong paper, Anne, I can't write on this paper, Anne!" Well, I'll get your stupid paper but you just better start showing me a little appreciation around here, Mr. MAN!

Monster        
written by Patty Jenkins
(during this (voice-over) monologue, we see the seven-year-old Aileen being abused by her grandfather and prostituting herself as a teenager.)
Aileen: I always wanted to be in the movies. When I was little, I thought for sure that one day, I could be a big big star. Or maybe just beautiful. Beautiful and rich. Like the women on TV. Yeah, I had a lot of dreams. And I guess you could call me a real romantic 'cause I truly believed that one day, they'd come true. So I dreamed about it for hours. As the years went by, I learned to stop sharing this with people. They said I was dreaming, but back then, I believed it wholeheartedly. So whenever I was down, I would just escape into my mind, to my other life, where I was someone else. It made me happy to think that all these people just didn't know yet who I was going to be. But one day, they'd all see. I heard that Marilyn Monroe was discovered in a soda shop and I thought for sure it could be like that. So I started going out real young and I was always secretly looking for who was going to discover me. Was it this guy? Or maybe this one. I never knew. But even if they couldn't take me all the way, like Marilyn, they would somehow believe in me just enough. They would see me for what I could be and think I was beautiful. Like a diamond in the rough. They would take me away to my new life ... and my new world ... where everything would be different. Yeah. lived that way for a long long time. In my head, dreaming like that. It was nice. And one day, it just stopped.

Out of Africa    
by Kurt Luedtke, based on the memoirs of Isak Dinesen and Errol Trzebinski
Karen: He even took the gramophone with him on safari. Three rifles, supplies for a month, and Mozart. He began our friendship with a gift. And later, not long before Tzavo, he gave me another--an incredible gift: a glimpse of the world through God's eye. And then I thought, "yes, I see. This is the way it was intended." I've written about all the others not because I loved him less, but because they were clearer, easier. He was waiting for me there. But I've gone ahead of my story. He'd have hated that -- Denys loved to hear a story told well. You see, I had a farm in Africa at the foot of the Ngong Hills. But it really began before that; it really began in Denmark. And there I knew two brothers. One was my lover, and one was my friend. I had a farm in Africa...I had a farm in Africa at the foot of the Ngong Hills. I had a farm in Africa...

The Perfect Storm          
written by William D. Wittliff, from the book by Sebastian Junger
Linda Greenlaw: I knew Billy Tyne. I did not know his crew very well. But any man who sailed with him must've been the better for it. Robert Shatford, Dale Murphy, Michael Moran, David Sullivan, Alfred Pierre. May you rest easy, long-liners, in fair winds and calm seas. (her voice breaks) For those of us left behind the vast and unmarked grave which is home to those lost at sea is no consolation. It can't be visited, there is no headstone on which to rest a bunch of flowers on. The only place we can revisit them is in our hearts, and in our dreams. They say swords-boatsmen suffer from lack of dreams. That's what begets their courage. Well, we'll dream for you. Billy, (starts to cry) and Bobby. And Murph, Bugsy, Sully, and Alfred Pierre. (takes a deep breath) Sleep well and goodnight.

The Piano      written by Jane Campion
Ada: The voice you hear is not my speaking voice---but my mind's voice. I have not spoken since I was six years old. No one knows why---not even me. My father says it is a dark talent, and the day I take it into my head to stop breathing will be my last. Today he married me to a man I have not yet met. Soon my daughter and I shall join him in his own country. My husband writes that my muteness does not bother him--and hark this! He says, "God loves dumb creatures, so why not I?" 'Twere good he had God's patience, for silence affects us all in the end. The strange thing is, I don't think myself silent. That is because of my piano. I shall miss it on the journey. 

Psycho         written by Joseph Stefano, from the novel by Robert Bloch
Mother: It's sad when a mother has to speak the words that condemn her own son. I couldn't allow them to believe that I would commit murder. They'll put him away now, as I should have, years ago. He was always bad and in the end, he intended to tell them I killed those girls and that man. As if I could do anything except just sit and stare, like one of his stuffed birds. Oh, they know I can't even move a finger and I won't. I'll just sit here and be quiet, just in case they do suspect me. They're probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I'm not even gonna swat that fly. I hope they are watching. They'll see. They'll see and they'll know and they'll say, 'Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly.'

Revolutionary Road    
written by Justin Haythe, from the novel by Richard Yates
Two monologues: repressed mid-1950's housewife April confronts her husband regarding their decision to bring children into their world--and the future of their very troubled lives/marriage.
April: I don't need everything we have here, I don't care where we live. I mean, who made these rules anyway? The only reason we moved out here was because I got pregnant. Then we had another to prove the first one wasn't a mistake, I mean, how long does it go on? Frank, do you actually want another child? Well do you? Come on. Tell me. Tell me the truth, Frank. Remember that? We used to live by it. And you know what's so good about the truth? Everyone knows what it is no matter how long they've lived without it. No one forgets the truth, Frank, they just get better at lying. So tell me. Do you really want another child?
________________________________________
April: Don't you see? That's the whole idea! You'll be able to do what you should have been aloud to do seven years ago, you'll have the time. For the first time in your life, you'll have the time to find out what it is you actually want to do. And when you figure it out, you'll have the time and the freedom, to start doing.
Frank: This doesn't seem very realistic.
April: No, Frank. This is what's unrealistic. It's unrealistic for a man with a fine mind to go on working year after year at a job he can't stand. Coming home to a place he can't stand, to a wife who's equally unable to stand the same things. And you know what the worst part of it is? Our whole existence here is based on this great premise that we're special. They we're superior to the whole thing. But we're not. We're just like everyone else! We bought into the same, ridiculous delusion. That we have to resign from life and settle down the moment we have children. And we've been punishing each other for it.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show     
written by Jim Sharman & Richard O'Brien
With all the new people flying in and out of the mansion, Columbia can't help getting a little high-strung toward the good doctor Frank-N-Furter.
Columbia: My God! I can't take any more of this - first you spurn me for Eddie, then you cast him off like an old overcoat for Rocky. You chew people up and spit them out - I loved you, do you hear me - I LOVED YOU - And what did it get me - I'll tell you - A big nothing. You're like a sponge. You take, take, take, take! You drain others of their love and emotions. Well, I've had enough. You've got to choose between me and Rocky - so named because of the rocks in his head.

Serendipity   
written by Marc Klein
Sara: I've always believed in fate. I've always believed that life is more than a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. But rather, a tapestry of events that culminate into an exquisite plan. I mean, I just spent the entire flight staring into the sky thinking. Not about my fiancé, but about this mystery guy I met a million and a half hours ago. A guy I don't even remember except for this vague picture inside my head. It's just a few seconds, a fragment really, and it's like, in that moment the whole universe existed just to bring us together. We spent only a few precious hours together and I never even gave him my last name or my phone number. Instead, I told him that if we were meant to be together, if fate meant for us to be together, we'd meet again someday. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm going to let fate take me anywhere it wants to go, because when all of this is over, atleast I'll never have to think of him ever again. Let's just pray he's a bald Fascist who picks his nose and wipes it under the car seat.

Singin' in the Rain       
written by Betty Comden & Adolph Green
Kathy: Lucky? Hmm...I wonder...I wonder how many girls would consider it lucky to be held in the strong manly arms of Don Lockwood, the glamorous star of the silver screen. A year ago it would have scared me half to death. That was when I was a member of your fan club. Fan? Me? I was the president! Do you know, I waited outside of the Brown Derby for two hours one night, just to get a glimpse of you? But it was worth it. You looked so dazzling in your green knickers, yellow sweater and orange beret. I just swooned. You see...(sung) I was star struck.

Stepmom   
written by Gigi Levangie, Jessie Nelson, Steven Rogers, Karen Leigh Hopkins, & Ron Bass
Isabel, coping with being a stepmother to Jackie's children, envies the perfect mother persona that Jackie seems to possess.
Isabel: I never wanted to be a mom. Well, sharing it with you is one thing, but caring alone the rest of my life, always being compared to you. You're perfect. They worship you. I just don't want to be looking over my shoulder everyday, for twenty years, knowing that someone would have done it right, done it better, the way that I can't. You're mother-earth incarnate, you ride with Anna, you know every story, every wound, every memory Their whole life's happiness is wrapped up in you. Every single moment. Don't you get it? Look down the road to her wedding. I'm in a room alone with her Fitting her veil, fluffing her dress. Telling her, no woman has ever looked that beautiful. And my fear is that (pause) she'll be thinking "I wish my mom was here".

Superman    
written by Mario Puzo, David Newman, Leslie Newman, and Robert Benton
Lois Lane muses to herself poetically while flying over Metropolis with Superman, spit-curl and all.
Lois: Can you read my mind? Do you know what it is you do to me. I don't know who you are. Just a friend from another star. Here I am like a kid out of school. Holding hands with a god. I'm a fool. Will you look at me, quivering, like a little girl, shivering. You can see right through me. Can you read my mind? Can you picture the things I am thinking of. Wondering why you are. All the wonderful things you are? You can fly. You belong to the sky. You and I can belong to each other. If you need a friend, I'm the one to fly to. If you need to be loved, here I am. Read my mind.

You've Got Mail        
by Nora Ephron and Delia Ephron;  by Miklos Laszlo and Samson Raphaelson
Kathleen: I like to start my notes to you as if we're already in the middle of a conversation. I pretend that we're the oldest and dearest friends -- as opposed to what we actually are, people who don't know each other's names and met in an "Over 30" chat room where we both claimed we'd never been before. What will NY152 say today, I wonder. I turn on my computer, I wait impatiently as it boots up. I go on line, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words: You've got mail. I hear nothing, not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beat of my own heart. I have mail. From you.

X-Men: The Last Stand             
written by Simon Kinberg & Zak Penn
Ororo "Storm" Munroe eulogizes a fallen hero.
Ororo Munroe/Storm: We live in an age of darkness. A world full of fear, hate and intolerance. But in every age, there are those who fight against it. Charles Xavier was born into a world divided. A world he tried to heal. A mission he never saw accomplished. It seems it's the destiny of great men to see their goals unfulfilled. Charles was more than a leader, more than a teacher. He was a friend. When we were afraid, he gave us strength. When we were alone, he gave us a family. He may be gone, but his teachings live on through us. His students. Wherever we may go, we must carry on his vision. And that is a vision of a world united.

Finding Nemo
Dory: No. No, you can't. ...STOP! Please don't go away. Please? No one's ever stuck with me for so long before. And if you leave...if you leave... I just, I remember things better with you! I do, look! P. Sherman, forty-two...forty-two... I remember it, I do. It's there, I know it is, because when I look at you, I can feel it. And...and I look at you, and I...and I'm home! Please...I don't want that to go away. I don't want to forget.
Marlin: I'm sorry, Dory. But I...do.

Friends
Author Crane David Role: Janice 
That’s fine. Because I know that this isn’t the end. It isn’t, because you wont let that happen. Don’t you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing. No? Well then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up together? New Year’s? Who invited who? Valentine’s? Who asked who into whose bed? You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn. JANICE, JANICE. You want me. You need me. You can’t live without me. And you know it. You just don’t know you know it. See ya!

Gremlins
Author Chris Columbus Role Kate Beringer
The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple of hours went by. Dad wasn’t home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. And that’s when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He’d been climbing down the chimney on Christmas Eve, his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that’s how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

Election
Author Alexander Payne Role Tracy Flick Actor Reese Witherspoon
Poet Henry David Thoreau once wrote, “I cannot make my days longer, so I strive to make them better.” With this election, we here at Carver also have an opportunity to make our high school days better. During this campaign I have had the opportunity to speak to many of you about your concerns. I spoke with freshman Eliza Ramirez, who told me how alienated she feels from her own homeroom. I spoke with sophomore Reggie Banks who said his mother works in the cafeteria and can’t afford to buy him enough spiral notebooks for his classes. I won’t bore you with long winded promises about all the new and innovative things I will definitely achieve during the year in which it will be my honor and privilege to represent each and every one of you, but I can say that my years of experience on the student council have taught me the three most important attributes the president needs to possess; commitment, qualifications, and experience. I’ll add one more, caring. I care about Carver and I care about each and every one of you and together we can all make a difference. One of the things I would like to establish is a regular open forum where any student can come and voice their concern about issues we face here at Carver. I and the rest of the student council would then interface with the faculty and staff, so a continuous dialogue would exist. When you cast your vote for Tracy Flick next week, you won’t just be voting for me. You’ll be voting for yourself and for every other student. Our days won’t be any longer, but they can sure be better.

Sleepless in Seattle
Author Nora Ephron Role Suzy Actor Rita Wilson
Oh, it’s like that movie. An Affair to Remember, did you ever see it? Oh, god, Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. Is it Karr or Kerr? Okay, she’s going to meet him at the top of the Empire State Building, only she got hit by a taxi. And he waited and waited, and it was raining, I think. And then she’s too proud to tell him that she’s, uh, crippled. And he’s too proud to find out why she doesn’t come. But he comes to see her anyway, I forget why, but oh, oh, it’s so great when he comes to see her, because he doesn’t even notice that she doesn’t get up to say hello. And he’s very bitter and you think that he’s just going to walk out the door and never know why she’s just lying there, you know, with, on the couch, with the blanket over her shriveled legs and suddenly he goes, sold the painting and he, like, goes to the bedroom, and he looks, and he comes out, and he looks at her, and he kind-of, just, they know, and the hug and it’s so, god, I love that movie.

9 to 5
Author Colin Higgins Role Doralee Rhodes Actor Dolly Parton
Well, that explains it. That’s why these people treat me like some dime store floozy…They think I’m screwin’ the boss…And you just love it, don’t you? It gives you some sort of cheap thrill like knockin’ over pencils and pickin’ up papers…Get your scummy hands off of me. Look, I’ve been straight with you from the first day I got here. And I put up with all your pinchin’ and starin’ and chasin’ me around the desk ’cause I need this job, but this is the last straw…Look, I got a gun out there in my purse, and up until now, I’ve been forgivin’ and forgettin’ because of the way I was brought up. But I’ll tell you one thing: if you ever say another word about me or make another indecent proposal, I’m gonna get that gun of mine and I’m gonna change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot! Don’t think I can’t do it.

The Witches of Eastwick
Author Michael Cristofer Role Alexandra Medford Actor Cher 
Well, you know, I have to admit that I appreciate your directness, Darryl, and I will try to be as direct and honest with you as I possibly can be. I think-no, I am positive-that you are the most unattractive man I have ever met in my entire life. You know, in the short time we’ve been together you have demonstrated every loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered a few new ones. You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you’re morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor, and you smell. You’re not even interesting enough to make me sick.

Some Like It Hot
Author Billy Wilder Role Sugar Kane Kowalczyk Actor Marilyn  Monroe
Yeah, you better keep a look out. I’m not very bright I guess. No, just dumb, if I had any brains I wouldn’t be on this crummy train with this crummy girl’s band. I used to sing with male bands but I can’t afford it anymore, have you ever been with a male band? That’s what I’m running away from. I’ve been with six different ones in the last two years . Oh brother! … I’ll say…I can’t trust myself. I have this thing about saxophone players , especially tenor sax. I don’t know what it is but they just curdle me. All they have to do is play eight bars of “Come To Me, My Melancholy Baby” and my spine turns to custard. I get goose pimply all over and I come to them. Every time. … But you’re a girl thank goodness. That’s why I joined this band: Safety first. Anything to get away from those bums. You don’t know what they’re like! You fall for them. You really love them, you think, “This is going to be the biggest thing since the Graf Zeppelin.” The next thing you know, they’re borrowing money from you, they’re spending it on other dames and betting on horses. Then one morning, you wake up, the guy’s gone, the saxophone’s gone. All that’s left behind is a pair of old socks and a tube of toothpaste all squeezed out. So you pull yourself together, you go on to the next job, the next saxophone player. It’s the same thing all over again. See what I mean? Not very bright. I can tell you one thing, it’s not going to happen to me again. Ever. I’m tired of getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop.

Alice in Wonderland
Author Lewis Carroll Role Alice Actor Kathryn  Beaumont
Why, how impolite of him. I asked him a civil question, and he pretended not to hear me. That’s not at all nice. I say, Mr. White Rabbit, where are you going? He won’t answer me. And I do so want to know what he is late for. I wonder if I might follow him. Why not? There’s no rule that I mayn’t go where I please. I will follow him. Wait for me, Mr. White Rabbit. I’m coming, too! How curious. I never realized that rabbit holes were so dark and so long and so empty. I believe I have been falling for five minutes, and I still can’t see the bottom! Hmph! After such a fall as this, I shall think nothing of tumbling downstairs. How brave they’ll all think me at home. Why, I wouldn’t say anything about it even if I fell off the top of the house! I wonder how many miles I’ve fallen by this time. I must be getting somewhere near the center of the earth. I wonder if I shall fall right through the earth! How funny that would be. Oh, I think I see the bottom. Yes, I’m sure I see the bottom. I shall hit the bottom, hit it very hard, and oh, how it will hurt!

Because I Said So
Author Karen Leigh  Hopkins Role Milly Wilder Actor Mandy Moore
Really? I’ll tell you one thing though. You did not have me the moment that we met because I’m not even sure I like the fact that your staff talked about you behind your back at the dessert table. And excuse me but truth be told I didn’t like anything that you ordered for me on our first date except the calamari. And okay fine, yes, it was nice to not have to think for a change. But who wants someone that doesn’t think? Look. And sometimes you laugh when I cry, and you say “huh” when I make perfect sense. And never ever in my life have I burnt a chocolate soufflé until now, and that in and of itself. Oh my God. Should have told me I don’t feel like myself around you. And I would have decided that. A long time ago if it weren’t for my mother. Because who wants someone who laughs like a hyena in a polka dot dress that my mother made me buy.

The American President Author Aaron Sorkin
Role Sydney Ellen  Wade     Actor Annette  Bening
Total failure to achieve any of the objectives for which I was hired. I told him he was being unreasonable. After all, I did get to dance with the President and ride in Air Force One a couple of times. But, you know those prickly environmentalists. It’s always got to be something with them. If it’s not clean air, then it’s clean water. Like it’s not good enough that I’m on the cover of People Magazine. … You’ll call him? You mean you’ll call him yourself, personally? It’ll come from the President? That’s a great idea. I think you should call Leo and make a deal. He hires me back for, say, 72 days. I go around scaring the hell out of Congress making them think the President is about to drive through a very damaging and costly bill. They’ll believe me right? Cause I’m the President’s Friday Night Girl. Now, I don’t know if we can dip into that well twice, especially since I’ve lost all credibility in politics, but you never know. I might just pull it off again. I might be able to give you just the leverage you need to pass some piece of ground-breaking crime legislation, like a mandatory three-day waiting period before a five-year old can buy an Uzi. Oh, forget the sweater! She’ll have to learn to live with disappointment.

Adams Family Values       
Character: Wednesday Addams   Teenager (13-19), Young Adult (20-35)
Character is: Angry, Neurotic, Malicious/scheming. Wednesday Addams surprise speech during the play
Summary
Wednesday Addams is forced to join a play during summer camp. She plays the Indian in a play about the first Thanksgiving. In a surprise speech, Wednesday Addams gives this funny monologue about Native American-White people relations.
WEDNESDAY ADDAMS: "Thank you Sara Miller. You are one of the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Your hair is the color of the sun. Your skin is like fresh milk. And everyone loves you. Wait, we cannot break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, and you will play golf. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They said do not trust the pilgrims. And especially do not trust Sarah Miller. For all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground."

Chicago Character: Roxie Hart Age Range(s): Young Adult (20-35)
Character is: Descriptive, Reminiscing life story/Telling a story
Description: Roxie Hart tells an imaginary audience about her relationships
Summary
Chicago is set in the 1920s Chicago. Two murderesses, Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart, are on death row. Velma has killed her husband and her sister after finding them in bed together. Roxie Hart killed her boyfriend because he wouldn't make her a star. Facing the death penalty they fight for fame, the press' attention and a spot as the state's most famous murderess. In this monologue Roxie Hart narrates stories of her relationships to an imaginary audience.
Roxie: "I always wanted to have my name in all the papers. Before I met Amos I use to date this well-to-do ugly bootlegger. He used to like to take me out and show me off. Ugly guys like to do that. Once it said in the paper, "Gangland's Al Capelli seen at Chez Vito with cute blond chorine." That was me. I clipped it and saved it. You know, all my life I wanted to have my own act. But noooo, no, no, no, it's always no, they always turned me down. One big world full of no! And then Amos came along. Safe, sweet Amos. Who never says no. Ohh. (coy giggles) I’ve never done this before, but you know, it is such a special night and you are such a great audience! (applause from Roxie's "audience") And, and, I just really feel like I can talk to you, you know? So forget what you've read in the papers, and forget what you’ve heard on the radio because, because, because I'm gonna tell you the truth. (giggles) Not that the truth really matters, but I'm gonna tell you anyway. In the bed department, Amos was......zero. I mean, when he made love to me, it was like, it was like he was fixing a carborator or something, (pretends to play with her breasts, imitating Amos) "I love ya, honey, I love ya!" Anyway, I started fooling around...and then I started screwing around, which is fooling around without dinner. Then I met Fred Casley, who said he could get me into vaudeville, but that didn't quite work out like I planned. I guess it didn't really work out too great for Fred either. So I gave up with the whole vaudeville idea, 'cause you gotta figure after all those years -- opportunities just pass you by. (sings) But it ain't, oh no no no no, but it ain't. (speaking again) And now, if this Flynn guy gets me off, with all this publicity, I got me a world full of YES!."

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" by Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio    Character: Elizabeth Swann
Young Adult (20-35)   Character is: Persuasive, Inspirational, Gives orders, Speech
Elizabeth Swann has just been appointed captain of the Black Pearl and commander of the pirates' Bethren Court. The pirates are now about to face the gigantic fleet of the East India Trading Company and they have little odds to survive. In this speech Elizabeth rallies the fleet and inspires them to fight....
ELIZABETH: "Then, what shall we die for? You will listen to me! (shouting) Listen! The Brethren will still be looking here, to us, to the Black Pearl, to lead. And what will they see? Frightened bilge rats aboard a derelict ship? No. No, they will see free men and freedom! And what the enemy will see is the flash of our cannons. They will hear the ring of our swords, and they will know what we can do. By the sweat of our brows and the strength of our backs, and the courage of our hearts. Gentlemen. Hoist the colors!"

CLUELESS directed by Amy Heckerling 
The protagonist is Cher (Alicia Silverstone), a popular high school girl that only goes for shopping, looks for a boyfriend and helps her friends in looking good.  During debate class Cher takes a speech on “Should all oppressed people should be allowed refuge in America” (taking the pro position):

Cher: So, OK, like right now, for example, the Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all “What about the strain on our resources?” But it’s like, when I had this garden party for my father’s birthday right? I said R.S.V.P. because it was a sit-down dinner. But people came that like, did not R.S.V.P. so I was like, totally buggin’. I had to haul butt to the kitchen, redistribute the food, squish in extra place settings, but by the end of the day it was like, the more the merrier! And so, if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion, may I please remind you that it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty?